American Idiots
Wednesday 16 November, 2005

In an episode of Seinfeld which I saw again recently, Kramer gets burned when he spills coffee on himself at a movie theatre because the top wasn't on properly. With the help of his lawyer Jackie, he somewhat successfully settles with the coffee house with of course, much hilarity along the way. A delightful romp for the whole family! Then there's the other side of it: dumber Americans getting big fat payouts due to their own incompetence. I recently got an email about the Stella Awards, noting successful frivolous lawsuits of American idiots. I've included it because it's a little bit amusing and important to the rest of my rant. I do doubt that it's from "this year" though, as I recognised the winner's story from years ago. It reminds me of the warning label on a Swedish chainsaw along the lines of "Do not stop with hands or testicles". Good advice!

There's no beating around the bush here: stupid people don't deserve anything. You should have to work hard or work smart to do well and while it should be noted that they clearly have good lawyers, it frustrates me that they are so irresponsible as to try and blame someone else and make the most of a bad situation they created. It goes against my beliefs to attempt such a feat and it rewards these morons who are now held unaccountable for their own actions.

To quote from The Simpsons, a Japanese game show host notes: "Your shows reward knowledge, we punish ignorance." To which Homer replies "Ignor-what?" I suppose this typifies the situation. I want ignorance punished. Under no circumstances should it ever be rewarded. Consequently, I demand the recipients of the Stella Awards and each member of the jury in each case to be electrocuted in the most painful area to their applicable genders.

Is this what makes America great? Your right to dispute your stupidity in a court of law? Is that what freedom is all about? Is that what the founding fathers fought for when they wrote the Amendments? If America ever feels like addressing the reasons why the rest of the world hates them, I'm going to point to this as an example. Morons run the country, morons can get money for nothing. I don't know about everyone's culture, maybe I'm a communist, but I am offended. As a "smart" and a "hard working" person (I use those terms pretty loosely), I am offended. It hurts to think that evolution hasn't taken care of these guys.

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