Can This Policy

Welcome to my first video blog on an actual topic, thus earning an embedded status. For dialup users or fans of punctuation who want to snob the footage, the text is included below. Enjoy!

Amidst all the policy proposals ahead of Victoria's state election, there was one Liberal proposal that hit quite close to home: introducing 5c refunds on empty cans and bottles for recycling. First of all, it's hard to conceive that South Australia could be ahead of their time with anything. (It's OK to slag them online - they won't see it for 20 years. And then another half hour.)

I used to collect cans back in the day, you know. Mainly from household use, but if I needed to top it up, a quick look around the cricket club was normally bountiful. I remember taking the cans to the old "Cash-a-Can" place near the Croydon pool (or after that closed, a spot near Chirnside) on the way to VicKick. It was quite a money-spinner in relative terms to my pocket money at the time. So I do appreciate recycling for cash. I support using children as a cheap labour source to keep our country beautiful too.

However, as a constant carbonated and boozified beverage consumer, I am naturally sceptical about the Liberal's reassurances that prices will not be raised. Particularly because I don't think they're the ones who set prices - and some Australian Food and Beverage Council has already drawn a link between the refunds and price hikes.

I doubt that it would end up as just a 5c per can charge either. Prices tend to form around "ceilings" of something 9.95 (or in smaller shops, say, a multiple of 5). When the GST was introduced, a large McDonald's meal was lifted from the $4.95 figure that to $5.45 or whatever. Within months, the ceiling was increased to $5.95. Call it the Butterfly Effect, greed or whatever you want. Consider a slab: while it's technically only $1.20 more, soon we'd see the standard $40 slab specials at $45. As an avid consumer, that offends me and my wallet.

Perhaps the main reason that tips my stance well into the anti side of the fence is the fact I have not recreated the journey of the great Cosmo Kramer. I'm sure we've all had the idea of having a road trip, taking all our cans, driving to South Australia and cashing in on the "exchange rate". I'd actually like to do it. If this new system comes in, I'd have to go to somewhere like Sydney, drink a shitload and drop the cans off on the way back into Victoria. (Admittedly, it's mainly the Sydney part that I didn't like in that scheme.)

Although I'm sure it makes no difference who I vote for in this election. Labor should retain state parliament, but I'm in one of the safest Liberal seats going around, so there's not much competition in that race either. Five bucks says that the Labor candidate for my seat this year still has acne.

And can we put a "u" in Labor? I feel like a freaking American here. I still hate having to spell colour as "color" when writing HTML. I bet all the people who have to learn English to write HTML would be pissed too. US English is not a language.

So I urge you, and the women in particular, take good care of your cans. I'm Patrick Horgan, reporting for Tales of a Caffeine Junkie.